Close Encounters of the Odd Kind

I've had a couple odd encounters this weekend, and I just had to share the tale.

1. Yesterday, I went to Mecca (that's Target for you uninitiated). While there I bought some bandanas from the dollar section and a couple bottles of the special edition Mountain Dews. I don't know if you've seen the commercials for these, but they are basically Mountain Dew with berry flavoring and ginseng added and they have cool names like Mountain Dew Voltage and Mountain Dew SuperNova. I'm not a huge fan of the Dew anymore, but I was a little curious as to what these were all about. So I went through the checkout with my three bandanas and my three bottles of Mountain Dew. My checker was seriously the Target Lady. First, she scans my bandanas, one of which is the previously mentioned "Pinkalicious" bandana. (It's very cute -- pink with "pinkalicious" written all over it in red in various fonts. I can't stand how cute it is!) Checker, whom we will call T.L. from here on out, picks up the "Pinkalicous" bandana and says, "Ooooh, pinkalicious!" I smile and nod. (You know, I'm not big on idle, polite chit chat with strangers.) Then, she gets to my Mountain Dew. The conversation goes something like this.

T.L.: Oh, do we have these?

Me: Yes

My internal monologue: No, I brought those over from Wal-Mart but I'll pay for them here.

T.L.: Where are they?

Me: Over on one of those endcaps by the chocolate section.

My internal monologue: Mmmmm . . . chocolate.

T.L.: Do we have more?

Me: Yeah, some, but not a ton.

T.L.: Ooh, I'll have to go get some.

Me: Yup.

My internal monologue: FINISH CHECKING ME OUT AND LET ME OUT OF HERE!

Now, if I worked at Target (and I probably shouldn't even joke about that -- the joy of it would be overwhelming!), I think that I would probably daily play Target Lady with people because to me it would be an homage to the only person on this earth who loves Target more than I (albeit she is a fictional character and therefore I win by default since I actually exist). It would be an homage and a way to amuse myself. This exchange, however, was clearly not meant as an homage or in any ironic way. This chick just really liked my bandana and wanted some Mountain Dew SuperNova. (One more note about if I worked at Target: I would know that place's inventory like the back of my hand and would know EXACTLY where the Mountain Dew SuperNova was located, how much it cost, and how much we had left in stock. But that's just how devoted I would be!)

Odd Encounter #2: Today as I was driving to go buy the petunias I planted, I was stopped at a stop light. I was in the middle lane of three. I looked to my left to see an older man (probably late 50s) clearly grooving to something on the radio. His window was up so I couldn't confirm that he was grooving to what I was grooving to on my radio (which would be the theme from Ghostbusters). I had a little chuckle and then turned to my right. In the turn lane was one of Galesburg's finest. First of all, by finest I mean finest. This was the most attractive police officer I've seen outside of television -- and maybe even more attractive since television cops tend to be gritty and this guy was beautiful. I sort of smiled and looked ahead of me again . . . and then what I had just seen kind of clicked into place. Yes, there was a handsome, blonde cop in the car next to me, more handsome than any tv cop. But wait, no . . . I've seen a tv cop that attractive before, but it's been awhile. I'm thinking of a certain tv cop by the name of Officer Stacy. Anyone out there remember Officer Stacy . . . from a little show called TJ Hooker . . . . Officer Stacy as played by the soon-to-be-legendary Heather Locklear. Now, why did Handsome Cop in the car next to me make me think of Officer Stacy? Maybe it was just the fact that he was good looking. Maybe it was the fact that he had blonde hair. Or maybe it was the fact that he was rocking a feathered haircut that I haven't seen in person since about 1982 (although it occasionally shows up in my dreams when Parker Stevenson circa The Hardy Boys Mysteries makes a cameo appearance). That's right. It was 2008 and the car next to me contained a cop who had clearly traveled from the past to nail some time traveling perp. Or maybe he was on his way to strip at a bachelorette party before getting his glamour shot taken at the mall. Very surreal indeed.