Well, I Guess I'm Going to Hell . . .

. . . and apparently so are many of you.

According to this post on the Huffington Post, Sarah Palin announced to a gathered throng that "There's a place reserved in hell for women who don't support other women." She claimed that she was quoting Madeline Albright, but it turns out she was (surprise, surprise) MISQUOTING Albright, who had actually said, "There's a place in hell reserved for women who don't help other women." A slight semantic difference, but a difference nonethless.

Anyway, it's nice to know that Governor Palin has damned many of us to hell for our failure to support her and her "maverick" ways. Oddly enough, on Thursday, she told Joe Biden that his wife Jill, who is a teacher, would find her reward in heaven for her work. So apparently, Jill Biden's (and my) reward is a one-way ticket to hell. Well, Jill, save me a seat in the cool "Anti-Palin" room with you and Michelle Obama and Hillary Clinton and Nancy Pelosi and Claire McCaskill and all of my friends who have been setting my email on fire with their disdain for Iditerod Barbie and her homespun homilies. If my ticket to heaven is voting for McCain-Palin (and giving my tacit approval to the filthy politics they've decided to pursue for the remainder of this campaign -- judging from Palin's recent attempt to once again link Obama with William Ayers), then I'll take hell any day!

There's Good News and Bad News

First, I guess, the bad news. She didn't suck. She didn't commit any huge gaffes that would reveal that this particular empress wears no clothes. She was . . . . competent. She was personable and perky and charming in that gratingly folksy way she has. As I said to my sis last night as we were watching, "Whoever prepped her for this debate deserves a big, fat bonus check -- and a month's vacation."

For those of us watching hoping to witness a blood bath, hoping to see Joe rip into Barbie like a rabid dog, we were disappointed. She held her own, and while Joe debated like the pro he is, he never went for the cheap shot, never tried to humiliate or annihilate her. He debated the way you're supposed to -- supported by research and facts and with respect for his opponent. That's what I teach my kids in Debate class anyway. A debate isn't a fight -- it's an intellectual discussion between two opposing ideas. (You would not believe how hard it is to get teenagers to buy that. Okay, you probably would.)

And now for the good news: Joe did his supporters proud, and I think that he may have gone a long way towards wooing some of those mythic, all-powerful undecided voters, at least according to the CNN voter response graph. (Am I the only one who finds myself watching that more than the debaters? I find it absolutely fascinating!) He hit all the right notes and hammered home the points that will be key to winning this election for the Dems -- continuing to push that link between Bush and McCain, reminding voters of the failure of the GOP during their years of control in the White House and Congress, laying out an agenda that offers hope for the struggling middle class and hope for those concerned about what's going on overseas. In reality, Biden was really debating John McCain as he continually hammered his colleague for misguided votes and policy proposals. With Palin, he was respectful without being deferential, tough without being condescending. This was the Joe Biden I fell in love with in Iowa a year ago -- tough, intelligent, thoughtful, and insightful. This was the Joe Biden I wanted to fill that VP slot starting back in January when Iowans' inability to cut through the glitz and glamor of his more polished opponents ended his campaign the night of the Iowa caucus. He is nothing but an asset to the Obama campaign, and he will be nothing but an asset to an Obama administration.

While Palin did not implode or maybe even provide a ton of fodder for Tina Fey's appearance on SNL tomorrow night (surely they'll do a debate skit!), she also did not hit the sort of grand slam she probably needed to help stop the voter erosion the McCain campaign seems to be suffering. If there is any silver lining to the grey cloud that is this financial meltdown, it's that it is forcing people to really take a look at McCain and realize that he may not be the best person to shepherd the nation through this crisis. When you add Iditarod Barbie to the mix, voter confidence is even more shaken. (Man, you KNOW McCain has to be wishing he'd picked Mitt Romney as his vp right now.) What's even more encouraging is that Obama is making some progress in those key battleground states (like Michigan -- where his lead has become significant enough that McCain is pulling his campaign from the state) -- and even starting to make some noise in states once thought to be GOP locks (like Indiana). The McCain campaign is starting to look like it's having a meltdown of its own with the embarrassment of the Palin-Couric interview, McCain's ridiculous "campaign suspension" (that lasted what? 20 minutes?), and the shifting realization of the electorate that McCain does not represent change.

I'm not popping open the champaign yet, but I'm putting it on ice -- just in case.

I'd Like to Use One of My Lifelines

Tina Fey returned once more to SNL last night for another shot at Sarah Palin. This time, obviously, Fey had a tough act to follow -- herself -- and expectations were high for another slam dunk.

Personally, I liked last night's Palin sketch even more than the first one. As Palin speaks more and more, her lack of preparation and knowledge becomes more and more obvious, and last night's sketch satirized that brilliantly -- from her nonsensical rambling about fixing the economy (ordering from McDonald's Dollar Menu will help) to her call for a lifeline and the adorable posing, Fey's portrayal of Palin gets creepier and creepier and more and more scathing. I love that Fey's disdain for Palin lurks so clearly just under the surface, as if you can just see her thinking, "Can you believe this idiot?"

In case you haven't seen it, check it out here .

We Are Too Sensitive!

So this week, Barack Obama is learning a hard lesson -- that people are too freakin' touchy and easy to offend. He made what I sincerely believe was an innocent comment. In discussing the spin that the McCain-Palin camp is trying to put on their record, he said, "You can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig." I heard that comment and my reaction was a little chuckle -- not because I made the connection between lipstick and Sarah Palin (and therefore jumped to the conclusion that he was calling Sarah Palin a pig) -- but rather because that phrase always makes me chuckle because it makes me imagine one of my childhood idols, the legendary Miss Piggy. I mean, seriously, that pig was a riot because no matter how glamorous she thought she was, she was still a pig!

It's not like Barack Obama made this expression up. It's a common expression -- one that McCain himself used just a year ago to describe the health care plan of a Democratic rival. That Democratic rival? Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton? Did Hillary and her camp throw a fit and accuse McCain of being sexist? No. Suddenly, because of her stupid hockey mom-pit bull "joke" (I use quotes because is it seriously that funny?), Sarah Palin has somehow trademarked lipstick?

I have a hard time believing that Barack Obama, a man who has dealt with a lot of bigotry in his life, would stoop so low as to actually call (or more accurately imply) that his rival is a pig. I think he has more sensitivity and class than that. I also think that he's smart enough to know that if he were to intentionally make that analogy that he would be crucified. Remember, too, that he has to face Michelle every night, and I don't see that kind of remark flying by her. Rather he used an expression in an attempt to seem more "like us" and didn't make the connection that everyone else jumped to right away -- that it would be seen as a comment on Palin.

Again, though, I grow concerned about the tone of this election. It seems incredibly counterproductive to me to have a female vice presidential candidate on the ticket, to trumpet her as a harbinger of change, and then demand that she be treated with kid gloves -- kid gloves that would be nowhere in sight if she were a man. This kind of double standard does not help the cause of women but rather only further highlights our "otherness" rather than accepting us as equals. If we want to play with the boys, we gotta be ready to be treated like the boys. It may suck, some really lousy things may get said, but that's, sadly, part of the game. There may be lipstick on this pig we call politics, but it's really still just a pig.

No offense, Sarah.

Things that Make Me Go "Ugh"

As I sit here watching Sarah Palin's speech (woo hoo, laptop!) and having sat through a large portion of tonight's speeches, I've come up with this list of what has really bothered me.

1. I forget how downright nasty Republicans can be. I was stunned by the nasty, dismissive tenor of Rudy Giuliani's speech. His speech (and others both tonight and last night) have struck me as condescending and lacking in any real substance other than to make fun of Barack Obama and Joe Biden. You'll notice that during the speeches last week, the Democrats at least had the class to show respect to their opponents. They didn't attack John McCain as a human being but rather questioned whether his ideas were the ideas America needs right now. This convention has an arrogantly dismissive air that really bothers me.

2. It really bothered me that Sarah Palin spent a good 10 minutes at the beginning of her speech talking about her family. I know it's meant to humanize her and endear her to the voters, but I found it rather superficial and pandering. And if Rudy Giuliani wants to question whether we'd worry about a man "abandoning" his family to run for office, then I'm going to question whether a man would feel the need to spend 10 or more minutes talking about his wife and kids.

3. I'm glad to see they cleaned up Baby Daddy. He doesn't look like such a dirt bag now.

4. If the GOP wants to trumpet Sarah Palin as having more executive experience than the Democratic ticket combined, fine, but maybe they need to remember that she has more experience than the guy at the top of their ticket, too. As Stephen Colbert pointed out last night, if it's all about executive experience, maybe they need to flip it around and make it Palin/McCain.

5. As offended as I am by her candidacy, I have to admit I still had the tiniest of lumps in my throat when Sarah Palin accepted the party's nomination.

6. I'm offended by all the "hot chick" paraphenalia that seems to be floating around the convention center -- all with Sarah Palin's picture.

7. Okay, that little Palin kid (the one who licked her palm to smooth down the baby's hair) is pretty damn cute. Not Sasha Obama cute, but cute nonetheless.

8. Cindy McCain gives me the creeps. Like seriously. She's the stuff of nightmares.

9. Was it just me, or was the chanting of "Drill, baby, drill" really, really freakin' creepy?

10. I'm about to sound really heartless here, but I am really, really tired of hearing about John McCain's time spent as a POW. I'm still not sure how that makes someone supremely qualified to lead a nation. Okay, yes, it's a sign of his courage and his strength in the face of adversity, but I guess I need something more solid to cling to above this "test of character" stuff.

11. When Sarah Palin referred to John McCain as "John S. McCain," I couldn't help but think, "Wow. It's like she only met him for 15 minutes before taking this gig!" Oh, wait. She did.

I have to admit, I have a hard time truly judging whether or not Sarah Palin's speech did what it needed to do because I'm having such a hard time separating my objective analysis of her speech from my own subjective reactions. I have a feeling it was successful. She seemed charming and tough, smart but approachable. I think I've had parent-teacher conferences with this woman before. I have a feeling that, if I were a Republican, I'd be nuts over this woman. As a Democrat, though, I can't help but feeling that something was missing -- substance? I don't know. All I do know is that we may be in for a big fight in the next 2 months.

Democrats, this is our time. We have to fight. We can't let their dismissive arrogance defeat us this time.

Battle of the Super Divas!

Tonight, my great loves collide. Sarah Palin is giving her crucial acceptance speech at the RNC, the Project Runway kids meet Diane von Furstenberg, and Tyra Banks returns with another season of America's Next Top Model -- the season that will forever be known as "The Tranny Cycle." WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!?!?!? Thank God for DVR who has kindly agreed to record Tyra and Heidi and their minions while I sit back and watch Sarah Palin try to dig herself out of the hole John McCain has shoved her into. (It's kind of like that episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer where Buffy has to claw her way out of her own grave. Buffy came out of that catatonic and spent pretty much the entire season that followed cruising down a pretty self-destructive path. Granted, she did sleep with Spike that season, but she was also a total downer!!)

I can't wait for our spirited discussion over Palin to continue following tonight's speech.

Betrayed?

I hope Sarah Palin checked for any knives in her back when this photo was taken. Or at least had someone look for the "Kick Me" sign.

I'm about to shock the heck out of my regular readers/friends with what I'm about to say . . . y'all, I feel sorry for Sarah Palin! During what should be a pretty heady time in her life, she is inundated with rumors, innuendo, and the revelation of some pretty private, embarrassing information. No matter what I might think of her idealogically, I feel bad for her, particularly the onslaught of criticism heading her way in light of the pregnancy of her 17-year-old daughter Bristol. Bloggers and political commentators are questioning her parenting skills, and that's just not right. There are plenty of "good" kids from "good" homes who end up pregnant. We don't know what kind of sex talk the Palin children receive, but even kids who get the nitty gritty details spelled out for them in technicolor have accidents.

Now, I'm sure there are those who are fearful that I'm jumping on the train engineered by Laura Bush and think I'm adding my voice to the call to take it easy on Palin because she's a woman. To that I say, "One, you don't know me very well, and two, hell to the no!" Palin is, in all honesty, getting the same kind of treatment a man would get in the same situation. (Although do fathers have to pin the scarlet P -- for pregnant teen -- on their jackets when their daughters get pregnant the way that mothers do?) On a certain level I applaud the press for not taking it easy on Palin.

No, my real argument here is with John McCain and his vetting team. Either they did a half-assed job of vetting this woman and did not uncover things that should have raised some serious red flags about her candidacy OR they decided to ignore whatever they uncovered and throw Palin to the wolves anyway. It's been made obvious to us that Palin was McCain's third choice at best (after Joe Lieberman and Tom Ridge), and there's the implication that McCain's attitude when he didn't get his way over Lieberman was "I don't care. Whatever." Nice way to govern, dude. The McCain team seems to have looked at one thing in making their choice -- Sarah Palin's gender -- and decided that either the rest would remain cozily hidden away (although Bristol's growing bump would surely have started to show by November) or weren't significant enough to make a difference, that people would vote for her regardless because of that whole vagina thing.

In the meantime, this woman has been devoured by the press and potentially had her career irreparably damaged. Yes, Sarah Palin did make the choice to accept the offer knowing there were all these skeletons hanging over her head, but as many people who've appeared on Meet the Press have said, how do you turn down that call when it comes?

McCain and the GOP have set this woman up as a sacrificial lamb and sent her to the slaughter with no seeming concern for her welfare. Maybe Mike is right and she was never meant to make it to November, that she's been set up as a sort of Eagleton so that when McCain gets the choice he really wants, it won't piss off the right as much. Or maybe this will all blow over and be barely remembered come November. Maybe the hope was that the news about Bristol would attract even more women to the McCain/Palin ticket. Nothing like using a 17-year-old pregnant girl as a gimmick to get votes.

And yeah, okay . . .maybe this does piss me off a little more because Sarah Palin is a woman. But it's more because I worry that this is just going to be one more thing that will make it harder for women to aspire to power and give those who think that a woman has no place in the White House (except when she's picking out china and hosting teas) all the more "proof" that they need. And maybe, too, it will become a deterrent for women, that they'll shy away from seeking higher office because they don't want their parenting skills called into question.

No matter what, this is a historic election. The question is whether it will be a history we want or dread.

Where Do I Begin?

Several of you have e-mailed me today to guage my reaction to both Obama's electrifying speech last night and McCain's sucker-punch selection of Sarah "No, Really, I'm NOT Tina Fey" Palin. I've spent pretty much all day processing that and trying to figure out a way to put all of what I'm thinking and feeling into words.

Let's start with the good stuff, shall we?

I thought the DNC extravaganza last night was truly amazing. I felt electrified all evening, even before Barack Obama took the stage. Throughout the past years, my love and admiration and respect for Al Gore has grown immensely. I was not a huge Al Gore fan in early 2000, and I really don't know why, particularly as I'm such a fan of the cerebral candidate. (I mean, hell, I cried myself to sleep over Michael Dukakis. MICHAEL DUKAKIS!!!) I supported Bill Bradley in the 2000 primary partly because I liked the guy's ideas and partly out of some sort of resentment that everyone just assumed Gore would be the candidate and I really hate feeling like my vote means nothing. (I have a history of voting for the "other guy" in primaries -- Bob Kerrey in 1992, Bill Bradley, Dennis Kucinich. I finally got it right this year!) Anyway, by the time the 2000 DNC came along, I had come to terms with Gore being the candidate, got on board the party train, was charmed by "the kiss", and voted for him like a good Democrat. I didn't become "passionate" about Gore's candidacy until Florida. Over the years, Gore's transformation from "automatronic joke" to a Nobel Prize winning statesman has been truly inspiring. Sometimes, I think I love him more than Bill Clinton -- and I love Bill Clinton. Gore's self-depricating wit and intelligence charm me. I want to have dinner with Al Gore. I think it would be a fascinating conversation. With that said, I obviously was quite moved by his speech last night. Al Gore has handled the theft of his victory in 2000 with such grace, but last night was the first time in a long time when I cried over it -- on behalf of him and on behalf of this country. I think that sometimes we really feel like the president is far removed from our daily lives, that who we elect, in the end, really doesn't matter because they're all the same and their power sometimes seems almost non-existent when it comes to our lives. If you still believe that, watch this and tell me that a Gore presidency wouldn't have made a difference in your life today and a difference in the life of America. This should have been his victorious farewell speech, and instead, it was a sad reminder of a lost America.

That makes it even more crucial to elect Barack Obama. His speech last night was one of the finest things I've ever seen -- and I've seen a lot of great speeches. (Ugh! Listen to me! Pretentious much??) He hit every note he needed to hit. It was a speech filled with vision and compassion and courage and determination. For the first time in a long time, I felt valued and cared for as an American citizen and that someone out there was going to fight for me and protect me. I admire Barack Obama for a lot of things, but last night, I admired him for not backing down, for taking this fight and smashing it like a grapefruit right in John McCain's face. I don't know that I've ever felt this proud to be a Democrat before, and I am a pretty proud nearly lifelong Democrat -- going back to Election Night 1976 when I danced around our living room in my Bullwinkle pajamas singing a song I made up about how much I loved Jimmy Carter. I was 5, and outside of those "parroting my parents" years when I thought Ronald Reagan was the bomb-diggity (cut me some slack -- I was 9!), I've been a Democrat ever since. One thing that often frustrates me about my party is our insistence to play nice. Not that I'm advocating mudslinging and swift boating, but it was so disheartening four years ago to see John Kerry continually get kicked in the groin and never once even put on a cup to try to protect himself. I firmly believe that one of the biggest reasons why Gore lost in 2000 was that the party tried to play it too safe in Florida. Rather than demanding that the votes be recounted, they hemmed and hawed and ended up getting the rug pulled right out from underneath them because the Republicans do NOT play nice. They are the party of Lee Atwater and James Baker, a party that will push up their sleeves and fight until there's no one left standing. I'm Irish; I believe in a good fight. Last night, Obama showed me that he believes in a good fight, too. A good, fair fight that's based on issues and ideals rather than trumped up b.s. like who's more patriotic. This is going to be the most exciting election in my lifetime, but we need to fasten our seat belts, folks, because it's going to be a bumpy, bloody ride.

John McCain proved THAT this morning when he announced his selection for VP. First of all, let me applaud the McCain camp for something -- they shocked the hell out of just about everyone. This morning, CNN had all but crowned Minnesota governer Tim Pawlenty. NPR seemed convinced that Mitt Romney had received the call. Both mentioned allusions to a "dark horse" but both even had that "dark horse" identified as Meg Whitman. So you can imagine my shock when I opened an email from Danielle (Danielle, did you know that you technically broke the news to me? This teaching thing is really cutting into my amatuer political pundit time spent pouring over the pages of the Huffington Post and nytimes.com) with the subject line that said, "A woman?" and I hurriedly went to cnn.com to find out it was Sarah Palin. I seriously said "That son of a bitch!" out loud. (Thank goodness it was between classes and no students were around!)

There's a part of me that's devastated because I share in Jen's fear that this could be the thing that ruins this election for Obama and consign us to four more years of Republican shenanigans. There's a part of me that's angry for that reason and because this is such a manipulative move on the part of McCain. He did not pick Sarah Palin for her beliefs. He picked her because she has a vagina. What she brings to the table idealogically is irrelevant. She is, to put it more bluntly, a token, and that offends me on so many different levels. On top of it, she's a flippin' beauty queen?!?!?!? What a great message to send to girls already struggling with self-esteem issues and body isues. "Hey girls, you can be anything you want to be. You can even be one heart beat away from the presidency -- as long as you're pretty!" First the ugly kid can't sing the Chinese National Anthem, and now this!

Let me close this lengthy post with this impassioned plea to those wavering Hillary supporters out there: I know you're upset that Hillary did not win. I've been there. I know that frustration. I know that you believe there was a lot of gender bias at play. I know that it will be tempting for you to vote for McCain now that there is this attractive, charming woman who seems so much like you -- a "hockey mom" who's risen to power in a disproportionately male state. Just promise me one thing before you vote -- promise me you'll vote with your head and not with your vagina. Investigate this woman, look at what she stands for. She may share your gender but she may not share your ideals. This woman will be one heartbeat away from the presidency, and just because she's a woman, it doesn't mean she's going to fight for the things you believe in. As angry as you may be that Obama did not pick Hillary to be his vice president, at least he picked someone who shares the values and ideals of Hillary's party -- your party. Joe Biden is a good man who has fought for us for 35 years in the Senate. Vote with knowledge, vote with your head, vote the way you know will help heal this fractured nation of ours.

Thank you.

Quick Question

I'm away from a tv and only able to check my usual news sources sporadically since I'm teaching, but did John McCain seriously pick Tina Fey to be his running mate?? What will that mean for this season of 30 Rock?